OK, so I had the pleasant experience of becoming a statistic this morning and as a result have lost a couple days' braai pics :-(

While we were sound asleep in bed, somebody decided that they would be able to make better use of my property and came to collect it for themselves. Unfortunately that property included my laptop with my braai pictures from the last 3 days. Replacing computers, camera and other material things are easy enough if you've got insurance, but it's the data on those things that can't be replaced, and as a result... for the first time in 3 years, I've got a 3-day gap in my daily braai pics. May those bastards rot in hell!

 

Along with mud and shit traipsed through the house, at least they left me with my apron :-)

 

The house is of course littered with evidence, and I can see prints on the windows and door with the naked eye, but the highly motivated and enthusiastic SAPS guys that rocked up let me know that someone will come collect fingerprints in "a couple of days, definitely not today or tomorrow". Now, I haven't passed any police academy training or anything like that, but surely the sooner you get to a crime scene, the more likely you are to solve the crime? So... if any of you are buddies with Horatio, let me know so that I can get him and his team in here - SAPS clearly aren't very interested in solving anything.

 

All my shit went THAT way... :-(

 

and I'm guessing when you steal for a living, you don't need paperwork?

 

Yesterday's discovery that we invented braaing reminded me about an email I got from Phil Burlace a while ago, letting me know that other countries also enjoy a good old braai, they're just not as good at it.

Phil says:

I'm English but now living in South Africa......now I know our rugby is not too hot at the moment, but the Great British BB-Q would have you okes in fits of hysteria -let me explain.

As you may well be aware we are blessed with only one or two days of sunshine every year. The appearance of that big orange ball in the sky does strange things to our psyche.

Now if the mini heatwave happens to occur on a Sunday, the men of the house will wind their way to the local pub at lunchtime and proceed to down overpriced fizzy beer. At some stage in the proceedings one member of the throng will suggest a BBQ.

It then falls upon the soberest to drive down to the local supermarket and bulk buy frozen sausages, beefburgers and chicken legs.

The drunken throng then descend on whichever house has a BBQ. These vary from gas powered monsters to discarded oil drums.

Half a metric tonne of coals are then put down into the cooking utensil.

There then follows a debate on how to get the thing alight. Traditional methods include heaping up the weeks supply of free newspapers but the chosen method here is usually a half litre or so of Shell unleaded.

When the chosen one has thrown the match into the mound great applause follows as the guys watch this reenactment of Dante's Inferno.

As the flames reach rooftop height the plastic bags containing the processed meats are ripped open and tossed into the furnace.

As soon as the portions resemble napalm victims they will be hauled out by a man in an asbestos suit and served with limp salad and more fizzy beer.

So that, folks is how its done in England - which is why I'm glad I have been taught how to braai properly by you guys.......it's the only way to cook.

Fortunately for our English friends, help is at hand... remember James Braai 0027?

OK, so we finally know why South Africans love to braai so much... it's because we invented it.

Scientists have uncovered what they believe is earliest evidence of a camp fire, in a cave in South Africa, dating back about a million years. Prior to the discovery, there wasn't much consensus on when our ancestors mastered the art of fire, so until further evidence is uncovered, I'm claiming the invention of braaing for South Africa.

Original story found on http://www.news24.com/SciTech/News/South-Africa-cave-earliest-fire-use-20120402

It seems yesterday's Cowboy picture created a huge buzz on Facebook & twitter, and in response Werner sent me the following picture.

If you've got any funny braai pictures you'd like me to turn into a braai (de)motivational, please get in touch and pass them on. Of course, if you think I did a kak job, let me know what you would have said... or even create your own and pass it on so that I can share it with everyone else.

I get a lot of emails from you guys and most of them are pretty good. So from now on instead of just keeping them to myself, I'm going to start sharing it with everyone else as well. This one titled "Cowboys don't cry, we braai" came from Fanie "Die BosChef" Pretorius. Thanks man!

If you've got any funny braai pictures you'd like me to turn into a braai (de)motivational, please get in touch and pass them on. Of course, if you think I did a kak job, let me know what you would have said... or even create your own and pass it on so that I can share it with everyone else.

I often get asked in interviews for my "ingredients" or requirements for a successful braai, so I thought I'd jot down my thoughts and share it with you guys as well. While it's difficult to prioritise these braai essentials into an ordered list, I've put them into 3 categories:

MUST haves:

• Good Friends – the single most important ingredient for a good braai. Snacking on a prime cut all on your ace is worse than eating charred chicken wings with good friends.
• Quality red meat – of course, a quality, medium rare rump steak is far better than those charred chicken wings, so if you find a butcher that supplies good meat, treat him better than you would your bank manager.
• Beer/Brandy/Whiskey (i.e. your drink of choice) and “slet sappies” – remember the “slet sappies”. If your better half is happy, it goes a long way to making you happy too.
• Ice, lots of it – keeps the beers cold. Your meat should be hot, not your beer.
• Quality (dry) hardwood – Dry wood will make sure you don’t need a gas mask to stand around the fire while enjoying those drinks. If you can’t find good wood, then rather use charcoal. Look out for something that says ‘Namibian Hardwood’ on it, and you should be safe. NB: Make sure you’ve tried the specific brand out before though – there are a lot of dodgy, false claims out there.

Single most essential ingredient for a braai: Good Friends

 

Nice-to-haves:

• Braaimaster – someone that knows what they’re doing to take charge of the braai duties, however good company will make up for ‘average braaing’.
• Firelighters – however, a good braaimaster should be able to light a fire using a strip of newspaper and 3 twigs.
• A blend of ‘secret spices’ – If your meat is good enough though, all you’ll really need is some top-quality Salt & Pepper.
• Garlic rolls - (plain or cheesy) and/or a Braai Pie (see http://www.braaiboy.co.za/page/Braai-Pie.aspx).
• Camera / phone – Always fun to share epic braai pics with your emigrant friends who have deserted SA and can’t enjoy braais like we do here at home
• Good Tunes – Not essential, but some doctors claim that background music helps with digestion
• Braai Tongs – and if it has your name on it, it will add to your street-cred.
• BraaiBroodjies – I’ll substitute salads etc. with BraaiBroodjies any day.
• Biltong & Droëwors – good for a snack before the braai is done.

Purely optional:

• Salads, Rolls - I’ve heard that some people actually enjoy this.
• Chairs, Gazebo’s etc. – If you spend too much time in an office and not enough time outside braaing, I’ve heard that this helps with comfort levels.
• Good weather – Again, purely optional. Fortunately here in SA, that’s almost standard… so no need to really concern yourself with the weather.

There are 100’s of other “less important issues” that could make your life easier, but can easily overcome, such as good lighting (when braaing at night) and a quality stainless steel grid for easier cleaning afterwards etc. etc., but if you stick to the single most important ingredient (good friends), you won't ever go wrong!

Got anything you'd like to add to the list? Comment and let us all know.

You've heard Rebecca Black do "Friday"... now hear a much better rendition by these guys:



I loved this video so much, I just had to get in touch with the guys that made it (Derick Watts &The Sunday Blues) and ask them a few questions... this is what they had to say:

What made you decide to do the video? / What triggered the idea?
Nic: I was on my couch and felt like a braai. Shortly after hearing the rebecca black "friday song"
Gareth: Nic was hit with the idea and then we spent some time fleshing it out. Can I say that - "fleshing it out"? I guess I just did.

Who created/produced the video?
We did it all ourselves...with a little help from our friends. And two of our enemies.

Can we expect more videos like this?
Gareth: Yes!
Nic: Can we expect more interviews like this?
~ BB: definitely!

Are you guys in any other bands?
Gareth: Nic was kicked out of The Parlotones for wearing too MUCH eyeliner
Nic: yes we are, 'Gravity Wins again' and 'Versus the Wolf'. P.S. That Parlotones thing is a secret, don't tell anyone.

Who are the girls in the video?
Gareth: There are girls in the video?
Nic: Friends
~ BB: Sorry folks, I couldn't find out if they're single or get their numbers!

How often do you braai?
Gareth: Whenever possible. At one stage we braaied every Thursday night, rain or shine. That was a lot of fun.
Nic: Some would say too often... I would say...probably too often :)

What’s your favourite cut of meat/ item to braai?
Gareth: I'm enjoying lamb chops lately.
Nic: Boerie + steak

What is the one thing that really annoys you at a braai? / What is the one mistake people can make at a braai?
Gareth: Pasta salad annoys me. The one mistake? Not saucing or spicing their meat.
Nic: Smoke... and people often think that its OK to not eat meat at a braai... thats NOT OK

Anything else you’d like to say?
Gareth: Visit our site at www.cardboardmusic.net/thesundayblues and always brush your teeth at least once a week.
Nic: Grab yor tongs and check out our FaceBook Page: Derick Watts &The Sunday Blues


Well... now you know :-)

Whenever I shave my head, I think I look like some mean-ass biker dude with loads of street-cred. I mean, it's all falling out on its own anyway... so why not just help it along?

Unfortunately my wife doesn't agree, and while I could be all macho and tell the little lady that I'll do what I like and she needs to live with it, she does have some good bargaining chips preventing me from doing so.

However, there's an exception: Sometime around the beginning of March every year CANSA has a Shavathon. Dunno what a shavathon is? Check this: What's a shavathon.

This was me before the shave... a hansome devil, I know :-)

 

 And then this is my new look for a while:

Did you also shave (or colour your head) this year? If so, send me some pics and I'll see about posting them online. If you didn't... I hope you'll be joining me next year!